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6.05.2010

Charlie Watts Is The Capricorn One Of Drummers




Charlie Watts is not a musician. But he is the worst drummer of the rock era. Worse than that dickhead in Poison. More awful than the pillow fluffing mommas boy in Sonic Youth. Or am I thinking about another band? Whatever. Most drummers blow. And how come Vinnie Appice never gets the praise that he deserves? What's up with that?

http://www.vinnyappice.com/

Anyway...
Chuckles Watts hits his snare like a 2 year old hits his little sister.
Weak. No balls.
Motherfucker even drops the ball on the the intro to Jumpin' Jack Flash on Get Yer Ya Yas Out, fer cryin' out loud! And thats one of his songs! Did he forget how it went? Whatta dick.
Listening to him on stage with the Rolling Stones is like hearing a guy who has never heard a goddamn Stones song in his life. He's a sham. And a pussyfart of a drummer.
Stop buying Stones records!
Don't make Charlie any better off than he already is. He didn't earn that 11th century castle that he calls home. He simply got lucky. That castle belongs to Keith and Brian.
But most importantly, please don't forget that Charlie Watts has no idea how to play the drums properly. That's the main thing. He's a mess back there behind the kit. And whats with the whole losing your place on a song you recorded light years ago fuckups on stage? Whats the matter, Charlie? Still can't figure out how get out of the chorus of Under My Thumb?
Fuck Charlie Watts.

The great Bernard Purdie on Charlie Watts;

"He may have shook a tambourine, but have you ever seen him play live? He does that little hitch with the snare and hi-hat. Guy can't keep himself from doing it if his life depended on it." Purdie is referring to the way Watts pulls off the hi-hat when he hits the snare. "What's he think he is, a fucking reggae drummer? That shit don't swing, that shit don't rock. Not even white folks can dance to that hitch!"

Amen, brother!

And that leads me to Jimmy Miller. Not only did he engineer the Stones, but he also played drums on "You Can't Always Get What You Want" and the second half of "Tumbling Dice". Seems that poor old Charlie couldn't hack it. Couldn't wrap his mind around something that wasn't four to the floor bar band slop. So Jim stepped in and nailed it. Probably did it one take too. AND his drum parts were crucial to both songs! Jimmy Miller "got it". Watts wilted like a week old head of cabbage. Fuck him. And fuck the Rolling Stones too. And don't give me this "But John, they were so loose and soulful!" bullshit. I'm not buying it. The Rolling Stones have been on autopilot since they killed Brian Jones. Small Faces forever!
p.s. The Rolling Stones would be way better if they had Dan Peters on traps. I would pay to see that.